Reflections on the “Incident”

Tonight I’d like to elaborate on what happened during the “incident”.  I can’t discuss what happened exactly – wouldn’t be smart to broadcast how good a shot the other team is so they can readjust. That’s what OPSEC – operational security is all about. In fact, I saw a hilarious poster today in a cubicle (yes, even in Iraq there’s no escaping the mighty cube). Anyway, the poster was a picture of a kitten with a caption that said, “Every time you don’t practice OPSEC, God kills a kitten. Do it for the kittens.”

Before going further, to clarify, last night was not that huge of a deal, honestly. We weren’t storming the beaches of Normandy or jumping into Panama. The Chinese hordes weren’t storming our lines and we weren’t evacuating the embassy in Hanoi. So any “hooah” credit belongs to the real studs. This is just a journal about what happens to me, as little as it is.

Well when the incident happened, I was typing my blog ranting about the guy who upset me. Then it was just like stepping into a movie where you’re an actor and you know the script. You heard ”Action” and just started doing your thing. It was so automatic. It was jammed with the whole spectrum of emotions. Replaying it in my mind, I remember grabbing my computer. Why would anyone steal it then? Then hitting the dirt next to a wall. There were enough of us to see the wide eyes on some, sobbing from one, and the “whatever” looks of still more. It’s pretty odd to see one guy sitting up carelessly with someone right next to him doing the right thing with his face planted on the ground. Dumb – you only have to be wrong once in this game.

Anyway, when it was over, nobody said anything really and it was like the director called, “Cut!”. And we all went back to what we were doing before, like we were extras on a big movie set. I couldn’t help but realize my hands were shaking when I resumed blogging but yet I can honestly say I was feeling exhilarated and not afraid, like in sports after you just made a big play. (though I’m no athlete, past or present) I can’t recall any conscious fear. Not saying I was fearless, b/c I wasn’t, I just didn’t feel it come to the conscious that way this time. I was exponentially more afraid on my last night parachute jump.

What grabbed me most was this tidal wave of emotions about 30 minutes later when it had time to sink in. If you’d been watching you’d think I was a lunatic b/c it was a worshipful / football pep rally / burst of anger fit throwing. As the good guys left to go do their thing, I remember shouting at them (though they couldn’t hear me in a million years), “Go get ‘em guys!”.

The point? God is good, all the time. Normally I call Katy first before I get on the computer. But last night, I remember thinking about it and making a conscious decision to blog first. Had I not, she would have gotten hung up on and would have heard the drama unfold and been unnecessarily worried. Or worse yet, I could have been on the phone with Stephen, Grace, or my worry wort mom. But as Psalm 91 says, regardless of what happens on my right and left, I don’t have to fear because He is protecting me. Could I be harmed? Sure, He is sovereign and makes that call, but I rest in knowing that it’s He, not the guys on the other side of the wall who decides.

One of my memory verses is Psalm 4:8. I memorized it years ago b/c I have a sleeping disorder, but it was true yesterday as well. “I will both lie down in peace and sleep, for You alone, Oh Lord, make me dwell in safety.” I slept great last night under His watchful care.

6 Comments

Comments RSS TrackBack Identifier URI