Before and After

Happy July 5th everyone! Katy’s been asking what sandstorms were like. Finally here’s some pictures from a clear day, and then storm pics from some of the same spots.

Katy said, “These first ones were on a ‘clear’ day? I think you’ve forgotten what a clear day looks like.” She’s probably right. But when you’re in the middle of it, anything after looks pretty good. One guy outside took my camera and insisted, “You’ve got to be in at least one of these, otherwise no one will believe you were really here when this happened.”

I’m in the midst of a tiny personal storm right now. I’ve got to be in it, so that those who witness my character afterwards will know I really went through it.

If I could go through life looking at today like it were yesterday, with all the benefits of hindsight, I’d be a lot better off. Too often I get frustrated in the here and now, only to have a clear day later and realize how blessed I really am and how well God orchestrated things. I think of the Israelites and wonder how they saw God do so many miracles in their midst, yet doubted Him in their next challenge. Then I am reminded that I often do the same thing. I hope to mature past that as at least now I am aware I do it and am prompted within to knock it off.

For example, my little personal storm is that the dream job and dream school thing is meeting a lot of resistance. Officer assignments are managed carefully by a group of branch managers. Their job is to meet the needs of the Army without ticking off too many officers into leaving before 20 years. It’s a fine line they walk and I don’t envy them. So they must absolutely love it when a General directs them to do something special for someone that is out of the norm. Red flags must go off that make them think, “If we do this for him, someone will hear about it and pretty soon we’ll be doing it for everyone.” So for now, the dream job’s on hold and my branch manager says I still have 18 months to go at Ft Bragg. Airborne! But…this is the before picture. There will come an “after” photo. My first goal in coming here was to not get killed or shot, so far so good.  I never dreamed I’d witness history yesterday. My storm is really a pretty clear day.

I remember as a child having terrible leg pains. Mom took me to the doctor and all I can remember is whispering between the doctor and mom, and then him telling me that he didn’t want me to do any walking for a week. What he had whispered to my mom was that he thought I had MS and probably would slowly lose the ability to walk at all. So when I hate running, my mind drifts back to what could have been. When I can’t sleep b/c of my RLS, I think of what could have been. And now and it appears that a dream may be crushed and that I was foolish for sharing it so early - like a mom who just found out she was pregnant and then had an early miscarriage feels both loss and humiliation for telling everyone so soon. I know that God is faithful and takes no joy in seeing our hopes rise just to be dashed. He has a plan and soon we’ll see it and be able to go, “Ahhhhhh….” and give thanks that His thoughts are not ours.

Katy, the kids, and I are standing on the Egyptian side of the Red Sea and God’s not done. Joseph had his dream assignment too, but the road was lined with beatings, slavery, false imprisonment, and abandonment. So if my brothers Mike and Alan don’t beat me up or sell me to The Others, and I don’t go to jail, 18 more months at Bragg sounds A-OK….and the General hasn’t heard that someone is saying no to him.

For Stephen and Grace, it’s important that we handle this prayerfully. Katy and I are united in saying that God will do what God wants done, and nothing man does counters that. Our test is to let Him give and take away, then bless His name regardless; not blind faith, but submission to a sovereign Lord who knows better than we. If we do that honestly, the rest is gravy.

With that, we’ll send you the “after” pictures as they are developed.

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